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Don’t be this Guy

Before reading my comments take a look at this video. It is about seven minutes long, but you will probably not be able to take it all (although some women may enjoy the – work and family safe – beefcake). So when the pain gets too much skip to about 5:00 to see the point of it all.

You are back. OK. Did you watch it all?

So it seems romantic, if a bit cheesy. At least it would be if this were a declaration of love to his current girl. As part of a wedding proposal it would be sort of cool in a dorky kind of way. But this was a “love letter” to a woman that left, without looking back, two (count ‘em) years ago. And she did not leave contact details. She just “disappeared.” Now I am not the coolest guy on the block, but even I can figure this stuff out. If she has gone 404, if she is MLNA (for you snail mail types), it is over. It is dead. The horse ain’t getting up, so stop flogging it.

Can you see John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart, or Sean Connery doing this pansy ass crap? For them it would be:
Q: “Where is Loren?”
A: “Don’t know, the dumb broad walked out on me. Meet Susan my new girlfriend.”

So let’s go over this:
Over eager declaration of love = cheesy
Action filled marriage proposal = cute
Overwrought, whimpering to some chick that walked (maybe ran) out two years ago = creepy.

The first gets you a contented sigh, the second a big expensive day, the last a restraining order.

This seven minutes of hell took nine months to create. It took energy and skill. All that effort could have been spent to do something useful like… um… get a new girlfriend. Hey, it’s just a suggestion.

At least the Numa Numa kid had the grace to be embarrassed.


The video itself is well made. Apparently Captain America (see note below) made it single handedly (the zooms, tilts, and pans were created with editing software). He managed to create some good action shots and a fairly professional feel to it. The script is not too bad with the mystery of what is all about building to the reveal at the five-minute mark. A bit long, perhaps, but still better than I (or many others) could create.

Some cynical types believed that this was made to promote the person in it (Ben Ryan Metzger) for the role of Captain America. Someone certainly posted it to many chatrooms. Given that the camera spends seven minutes on Metzger’s muscles and 20 seconds on Loren, I would not rule that out.

Some even more cynical types suggest that Metzger might not be gay.

Comments (1) to “Don’t be this Guy”

  1. Do be this Guy…

    Video of some cool cycling by Danny MacAskill