We live in a world that is ever more electronically connected yet personally disconnected. A world where we make deals over the telephone or by e-mail. A world where we may be no more than a price on a screen. A world where people increasingly come together for a single project and then disband to the far corners of the earth.

In such a world does that thing called character still count?  If you can get the job done, does it matter how? If you are only going to be together until this project completes, who cares? I would like to think that not only does character still count, but it counts even more.

In the majority of professional situations it is given that your colleagues are competent (mostly, although not always, true in my experience). But what happens when problems arise, when the schedule is blown, when a major product flaw is discovered? It is at that point that we realize that our colleagues are more than a set of competencies, more than a price on the screen, more than a contact on our e-mail list. It is at that point we realize the importance of character. Some projects succeed and projects fail, that is life. What counts is the manner of their success or failure.  We do not remember Enron because it failed; we remember it because of what happened before it failed. The intellectual brilliance of the characters involved is lost to the utter lack of character of those involved.

In a world of deals by phone and fax news travels faster than ever. So does reputation. Does character still count? I believe that the answer is yes. I hope you do too.

Well there is one small change that will not only increase your happiness but also decrease your dissatisfaction. It will take some effort. You will have to lift a finger. The finger you lift will be the one you use to turn off your television.

Television is the uninvited guest that we no longer notice.  This guest sits there taking our attention with its incessant droning. If it were a child it would have long ago been sent to its room. When the television is on our conversations stop and our attention is drawn to this loud and intrusive guest.  Instead of sharing our stories we listen to this bore repeat the same tired tales he told us yesterday. Sure he is bright, flashy, and can even be entertaining but sometimes he needs to be told to give it a rest.

Television by its nature and design will tend to make us dissatisfied. The shows are filled with characters that are impossibly good looking, unusually smart or funny, and who lead improbably exciting lives. Between these dramas are messages from advertisers that are designed to make us feel like something is missing in our lives (a gap that can be filled by purchasing their product).

I have bad news for you. Purchasing that new BMW will not get you that promotion. Changing your brand of beer will not make you more attractive the opposite sex. [You should also heed Shakespeare's warning that  "Drink provokes the desire but takes away the performance."] That new pair of sneakers will not turn you into an athlete. The latest insta-meal may save you time, but it will not save your family. If you want to do that then turn of the television and try talking.

You do not have to heartlessly throw your old friend out on to the street, but you can let him know that sometimes he should shut up and listen. So lift a finger, hit the off switch, and send this attention-seeking child out into the garden to play. You can always allow him back in later, but only if he promises to be good.

Notes:
I did not mention reality TV, but that is only because it is as fake as the drama shows.

I am not married but here is some advice for married couples. Get the TV out of the bedroom. Leno and Letterman et al. are no doubt good company, but don’t you have other things you could be doing?

Most people if asked to describe extroversion versus introversion would feel they have an understanding of what they mean. Most people do not mention the one thing that really differentiates the two. That difference is how they gather mental energy.

Extroverts are like a self-winding watch. Self-winding watches are mechanical watches that use the movement of the user’s wrist to keep them energized. [younger readers may need to ask their parents about these] They need motion and action to keep “charged.” Left on the dresser for a day or two they will run down and stop, their energy depleted. The only way to bring them back to life is to shake things up and bring some motion into their lives. Likewise for the extrovert, too little stimulation drains them. They need to seek out activity to recharge their emotional battery.
[To introverts: Tying the extrovert in your life to the dresser may seem like the only way to shut them up, but I recommend you move to a quieter room]

Introverts are like your cell phone. You can talk on your phone all day but when you get home you need to recharge its battery. If you don’t recharge your phone it may give up in the middle of the next day. On days when you do less talking you may be able to skip the charge that night but will need to watch your usage next day. Introverts are the same; too much activity drains them. They need time alone to gather their thoughts and recharge their emotional energy. Sometimes, the only way to bring them back to life is to stop talking and let them recharge.
[To extroverts: I don't actually recommend plugging the introvert in your life into the mains - even though you might be tempted]

It is this difference in energy flow that really marks the extrovert from the introvert. Introverts are not necessarily shy (afraid of people) or antisocial (dislike people). It is not even a given that they lack social graces. Introverts merely find socializing tiring.

Obviously this is hard for an extrovert to comprehend. “How can all that fun socializing be tiring?” One way for him to imagine it is, going for his customary five-mile jog after working until three AM. He enjoys the exercise. Five miles should be easy. Yet after two miles he is pooped and needs to go home. It is not that he cannot run. It is not that he dislikes running. The thought of five miles does not scare him. Thing is, he is just so dammed tired. A late night of socializing lowers the introvert’s social energy in the same way.

Now if only we could get the extroverts to shut up and the introverts to speak up how much easier things would be.

Notes:
I do not know what the correlation between introversion and shyness is. It is probably fairly high but not perfect. In other words not every introvert is shy (afraid of people) and not every shy person is an introvert (the shy extrovert might recharge themselves with loud music or as an observer at bustling events).

In the United States (and probably much the same elsewhere) about 75 percent of the population are extrovert and 25 percent introvert.

Whatever about the sound quality, the album art is just not the same reduced to CD size. The impact of something like Dark Side of the Moon is entirely lost when it not on a 12 inch square. There was some excitement in sliding that big disc out of its cover, placing it carefully on the turntable, and gently lowering the needle. There was a certain joy in sitting back the gatefold cover open in your lap, studying the lyrics.

But tell that to young kids today and they won’t believe you.